yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
