the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She's the barista slut.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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