you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He? As in you personified your dick?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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