barbara walters just said penis...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
