think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
