we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
