I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
