Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My vagina just clenched in fear
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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