Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
