You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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