Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
