she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
