i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
