brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize