I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
