Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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