My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
