She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize