Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
