I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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