So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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