the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
