if you like me you must not know who I am
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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