so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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