Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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