as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
