there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
