i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
