Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
