The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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