i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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