i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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