He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
