I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i dont even know how to be here
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
