Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
