Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
