what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
