dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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