Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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