Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
