got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
