try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
