I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
