I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
