I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
