East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
