feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
