I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
