I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize