sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize
