in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Send help, water and tortillas.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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