Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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