if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
