I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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