Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I fill condoms, not promises.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize