oh god the rape fog is back!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
