shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
