I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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