Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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